The Winds of Change

Today is a good day. This is because I have finally decided to be honest with myself in what I want out of my future.

For over a year now, I have trudged through school with the intent of acquiring a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. To be fair, it seemed like the most logical way to go. I am good at math, problem solving, have a good memory and have simply shown a knack for programming. This is all well and good, but for the last few weeks, I have been struggling with the idea of trudging through another two years of course material I do not get much enjoyment out of.

As stated, my left (logical) brain has been telling me that if I am going to put myself in debt for school, I needed to do it in a field that would pay back greater dividends. All the while my right (creative) brain has been screaming that I am going to hate it just as much as every other job I've ever had and that I am selling my soul for a paycheck.

I am always telling Josh that it is more important to be happy then it is to have money. So, I am going to take my own advice. While I do not expect it to be easy, I feel that pursuing a degree in art will be much more fulfilling for me. Exactly what type of art degree I will go for, I do not yet know, but I have made a very big step in being honest with myself.

So, this week's piece is a tribute to the struggles within between the left and right brain. Enter 'Inner Conflict':

So, which is the reality and which is the disguise? It's hard to say, really. I have been blessed, and at times cursed, with a very well developed right and left brain. But, as time passes and I work through more of my conflicts, I begin to think that the robotic logic was developed more as a survival mechanism to make it through my childhood.

I strongly encourage anyone whose creative endeavors are met with criticism to ignore any nay-Sayers in their lives. They do not have to live your life for you. You can do everything for your parents or loved ones and live a life that they feel is best for you, but if it does not truly make you happy, then it serves no one in the end.

Until next time.

Overcoming the Fear of Failure

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY

    Phew, it's been a while since I've posted anything. It couldn't be helped, though, I was struggling to get through the final weeks of an 18 hour semester. Thank goodness it is over!

    I've also been struggling to find pieces to work on this last week. Oh yes, my lovely blog was ever present in my mind my first day without class, but I've been suffering what some refer to 'writer's block,' but what I refer to it as 'Creative Constipation.' I've been finding some creative comfort in making these lovely Minecraft Inspired Paintings, but the task was missing something very important... A challenge.


    I have a few different projects that I am working on, or at the very least I am thinking about, so I though it fitting to choose a subject from one of these ideas for this weeks blog. While the characters in the piece were quite familiar and, in a sense, easy for me to draw, I wanted to break out of the norm in how I was going to draw them. Enter traditional medium!


    The Robot and Alien in this weeks piece are a part of a children's comic book I've been working on for a while now. It aims to teach children the value in working together instead of fighting each other. While these characters started on a piece of paper and were sketched out in pencil, since I began creation of the pages over a year ago, they have really only been drawn and, more importantly, colored in Photoshop.


    I like Photoshop because the 'Undo' option creates a saftey net and layers provide a testing phase for potential elements to be added to the image. If you don't like what was drawn, just hide that layer. If you messed up a stroke, Ctrl+Z. While photoshop can make creating art easier and less stressful, I've begun to feel that it moves me further from my artistic roots of crayons, pencils, markers, blenders and the traditional medium like these things. When I try to return to these traditional methods of art, I find myself paniced by the idea that I cannot undo the color I add, cannot take back the mishapen tree in the bottom right of the frame.
So, this week's piece served as a first step to overcoming the fear of failure. Not only artists are plagued by the notion of perfection, but many people I have talked to do not complete or even start tasks because the perceived disappointed from a possible failure feels like too much of a risk to even try. My biggest weakness with traditional medium is color. I can sketch and pen a work all day, but I freeze in terror when it comes to coloring with a physical utensil.


    While I may find a million little things I don't like in ever piece that I do, I can honestly say that may adventure outside of my comfort zone actually turned out pretty well! So, without further a due, here is this weeks work:

    This weeks piece took me about 1 hour and 45 minutes to complete. Holy crap, that's almost to the two hour limit!! Given that each project is getting more and more time spend on it, the following blog posts will have an increased goal of 1 hour 30 minutes and a limit of 3 hours.

    I can't say whether I will continue with traditional medium next week, but it is a likely possibility. I do have some squirrels that I would like to start working on. Regardless of what the future holds, I hope other artists can take some comfort in knowing that they are not the only ones afraid to fail. One of the best quotes I have ever heard is that 'when we are in our comfort zone, we are not growing.' Don't be afraid to mess up. Every mistake serves as a potential lesson for future works, and if you don't try to reach beyond what you know you can already do, how will you know how far you can go?

    Until next time!