Almost taken down by, of all things, a MIRROR!

Oh my, is Lucky going to start posting regularly again? Shh! Don't jinx it.

Today was the final day of class as I have known it for the duration of this semester. Finals are next week and, if all goes as expected, I'll be taking in a 3.75 GPA for the semester. Not bad for my first round of art courses. Yeah, there's a B in there, but it can't be helped. Metalworking ended up being much more difficult than anticipated, and I'm not holding out hope that this last assignment will be enough to pull me up to 90%.

All an all it's been a great semester and I already feel like I've learned so much. Even in drawing, a subject I have been practicing independently since I possessed the fine motor skills to hold a pencil in my hand. So many great tools and techniques have been added to my artistic tool kit.

It seemed fitting that the final project in drawing should be a self portrait. I've spent so much time looking at everything around me and taking in so much outside information that initially the assignment proved to be a struggle. I've never drawn myself from a mirror before and I've never done a large scale portrait in charcoal... Actually, I'm not sure I've ever done a large scale portrait in any medium.

So, after having a minor freak out the first day and leaving class early out of frustration, I took some time to examine what was going wrong. There were a couple major things.

First off, I wasn't using my powdered charcoal which has become my new favorite drawing material. You sprinkle it on the paper and spread it around to give your canvas a nice middle grey. This allows you to add not only shadows with charcoal pencils, but also highlights using an eraser. It also didn't help that the mirror was a bit wonky and squished or stretched my appearance depending on where I was.

The second mental block was a fear that it was too soon to 'immortalized' myself. I was afraid that I would mess it up and forever be ashamed to try again. This is silly, I know, but I'm curious if other artists have had the same problem.

Last Thursday I left early and mulled all these things over in my head. After bolstering my confidence (and practicing drawing myself in the dark), I returned to class on Tuesday to give the self portrait another try. I moved to a darker side of the room because practicing in extremely low light had shown me that if my face were not as well lit, I wasn't as afraid of making the picture too dark too quickly. I also moved to a smaller drawing pad so the task didn't seem so monumental. Once I prepped my paper with powdered charcoal, I dropped all insecurities and began to go to work...

After two full class periods, this is the fruit of my labor:

 

It's not an exact likeness, but then again a reflection can't be. Seriously. I don't have a perfectly symmetrical face or hair line, so any drawing of a reflection is going to be backwards! All technicalities aside, I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out... And I'll probably never do it again willingly.

My instructor is actually keeping this one for the foundations show next semester along with the fish painting from last week's post (different class, same instructor). He even went do far as to make sure that I signed up for the Drawing II course that was being taught be the best drawing instructor. It's cool to have teachers looking out for you and I'm mildly curious if my reputation will precede me in that class... Mustn't... Get... Big... HEAD!!

Seriously, though, I have done my best to keep my humility intact. As I said before, even in a subject that ie been practicing since I can remember did I learn something new.

I have got a lot of projects that I have been wanting to work on, so when the break is here, I plan to take a mini-vacation from the Internet... Or at least social networking. After all, I do need to find a job. The idea is to remove as many distractions as possible so that I can use the momentum I have gained this semester to work on things that are for my own enjoyment and not a grade. Either way, I won't be gone for too long. Maybe a week or two at most. I'll be sure to post before I go on break as well.

Speaking of projects done for fun... For anyone who hasn't had a chance to see this yet, this is the finished Thor drawing (WIP was in the last post) for my dear friend Shawnee.

Not bad for ten hours of work... Not bad at all. Until next time!

The Winds of Change

Today is a good day. This is because I have finally decided to be honest with myself in what I want out of my future.

For over a year now, I have trudged through school with the intent of acquiring a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. To be fair, it seemed like the most logical way to go. I am good at math, problem solving, have a good memory and have simply shown a knack for programming. This is all well and good, but for the last few weeks, I have been struggling with the idea of trudging through another two years of course material I do not get much enjoyment out of.

As stated, my left (logical) brain has been telling me that if I am going to put myself in debt for school, I needed to do it in a field that would pay back greater dividends. All the while my right (creative) brain has been screaming that I am going to hate it just as much as every other job I've ever had and that I am selling my soul for a paycheck.

I am always telling Josh that it is more important to be happy then it is to have money. So, I am going to take my own advice. While I do not expect it to be easy, I feel that pursuing a degree in art will be much more fulfilling for me. Exactly what type of art degree I will go for, I do not yet know, but I have made a very big step in being honest with myself.

So, this week's piece is a tribute to the struggles within between the left and right brain. Enter 'Inner Conflict':

So, which is the reality and which is the disguise? It's hard to say, really. I have been blessed, and at times cursed, with a very well developed right and left brain. But, as time passes and I work through more of my conflicts, I begin to think that the robotic logic was developed more as a survival mechanism to make it through my childhood.

I strongly encourage anyone whose creative endeavors are met with criticism to ignore any nay-Sayers in their lives. They do not have to live your life for you. You can do everything for your parents or loved ones and live a life that they feel is best for you, but if it does not truly make you happy, then it serves no one in the end.

Until next time.